Apparently Andy Dick Doesn’t Know That Licking Faces Isn’t Normal
We’d like to assume that at a certain point in adulthood, we’ve all learned how to conduct ourselves in public social situations. You learn not to interrupt people, you learn to say please and thank you, and with any luck, you learn not to lick people in the face.
This latter rule was apparently lost on Andy Dick, who was recently fired from the set of the indie film Raising Buchanan under allegations of sexual misconduct. While he denies the claims that he groped anyone on set, he does admit to possibly licking people’s faces: “I might have kissed somebody on the cheek to say good bye and then licked them,” the 51-year-old actor said. “That’s my thing.”
That’s your thing? This is what counts as normal in the world of Andy Dick? He made it to the age of FIFTY-ONE before he figured out he should maybe cut that out? The worst part is that his tongue bathing habit isn’t a new thing. “In the 70’s, all the girlfriends I got was by kissing and licking their cheek,” he said. That means that in more than 40 years of face-licking, he never once stopped to think, “Hmm, maybe there’s a better way to get a date.”
To avoid responsibility for his actions, he’s been using the play-dumb technique, insisting, “I don’t know the difference between sexual harassment and trying to get a date….I might kiss someone on the set and ask them to go to dinner. They are the ones who took it south.”
See, Andy, you have it backwards. First you ask someone to dinner and then maybe you get to kiss them if they want you to. Here’s another hint: people don’t want you to lick their faces. If you can’t figure out why you’re “single, depressed, lonely, and trying to get a date,” maybe stop licking people and see how that works out for you.